I made an enemy today

His name is Statistics.

He stalks me wherever I go.

He wakes me up at 8:00 in the morning on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and laughs at me as I run against the chills of wind to make it to his class on time.

He is always in my head, taunting me, telling me of all the work I've left to do.
He throws down his silly equations and problems only to make a mockery of me, of what I am, and of how little I know.

He gives me assignments with faraway deadlines when he knows that I won't touch them until two nights before.

Then, when I try to solve his problems in advance, he toughens up and tortures me. If I dare surpass his wit and discover an equation that will be helpful, Statistics cruelly tears away the numbers that I need to solve his trials, leaving me with not but a useless equation of z, x-bar, mu-not, sigma, and n.

Statistics haunts me in my nightmares and leaves me tossing and turning with cold sweats and mathematical hot flashes throughout the nights.

You dare taunt me, Statistics? Mock me? Go on. I dare you.

This is war.

I made an enemy today.